Dream catcher

According to Freud the reason we dream is to satisfy our own wishes but, what happens when we are dealt with a life threatening cancer. How do our sleep patterns and dreams change once we have something else to focus on? In this sit down interview with we find out first hand what happens when cancer is our main focus every night.

Q. Will you like to share with me the traumatic event that took place in your life recently?
A. Yes, in recent months I found out that I was diagnosed with 2 types of breast cancer.
Q. How did you feel when the doctor told you the news of the cancer?
A. I was in shock. It took awhile to get the results from what I initially thought was heartburn. My doctor planned a trip the week my results came in so it was a waiting game until she returned to town. I was thinking I’m way too young to have cancer. How could this happen to me. I’m a smoker so I was thinking it should have been lung cancer instead of breast. The first cancer was found in my right which had little signs of cancer. The second was found in my left breast which basically covered the whole breast.
Q. Has these cancers in anyway changed the pattern or rhythm of sleep?
A. Yes and No. I use to work a lot of hours 16 to 18 hours a day. Due to the fact that I had to be at work rather than sleep I usually went straight to sleep once I got home. Now that I have cancer it’s hard to sleep because I don’t work as much. I always had trouble sleeping so nothing has really changed except it’s harder to sleep now.
Q. Would you like to talk about your dreams?
A. Dreams in life or dream for future
Q. Dreams as far as sleep is concerned?
A. I rarely have dreams. I think people think they dream all the time. I’m frightful of snakes and when I dream of snakes something bad happens the next day or days later.
Q. Did you dream of snakes before you were diagnosis with cancer?
A. 2 cobras. 1 was dormant the other was striking in the air. The dormant snake died. The bad snake lived which I thought should have died.
Q. After being diagnosis with cancer how did your sleep patterns change?
A. Didn’t sleep well at al the first night all I could think about was cancer. Before I left my doctors office I asked for a sleeping pill because I knew I wasn’t going to sleep.
Q. How long did you rely on these sleep supplements to get you to sleep?
A. I’m still relying on them
Q. What date were you diagnosis with cancer?
A. May 7, 2009 for the first breast the second never got diagnosis they just took the breast while I was on the table.
Q. You’ve been using prescription drugs for almost two months now is that correct?
Yes
Q. Does this prescription cause hallucination?
No, just drowsiness I asked for ambien but she gave me adabant for anxiety it causes me to sleep anyway.
Q. Do you know what insomnia is?
Yes, I do
Q. After having the surgery and the removal of both your breast did you suffer from insomnia?
A. No, because they kept me drugged up in the hospital. When I was released to go home they gave more adabant.
Q. Does Adabant cause you not to dream?
A. No
Q. What kind of dreams were you having after the surgery?
A. Since the surgery I haven’t had any dreams
Q. Have you talked to your doctor about this?
A. I didn’t know it wasn’t common not to have dreams
Q. Have you had a Night Terror?
A. Yeah I had a dream I was in bed with the president. I was the nanny. That’s one dream that won’t come true
Q. Freud says people dream to satisfy their own wishes. Do you wish to be with President Obama or someone with that kind of power?
A. Of course I don’t have to work as hard
Q. Since you been on these prescriptions for almost two months is it safe to say you have a habit?
A. Well yeah before those I was hooked on Tylenol pm. Well no because I can always go back to Tylenol pm. So yes and no. Tylenol is an OTC (over the counter drug) where Adabant is prescribed.
Q. Why were you hooked on Tylenol?
A. Because when I was working after 18 hours, I had trouble sleeping
Q. Have you developed a tolerance for Tylenol or Adabant?
A. Yes because it took to many Tylenol to get to sleep. That’s why I got Adabant. To be honest I wanted to get off the Tylenol
Q. So you’re an Addict?
A. Yes if you want to call it that. No matter where I am at I will need help to sleep. I think im a controlled addict
Q. Are you secretly running from or trying to avoid life since being diagnosis with cancer?
A. I think I’m secretly doing a lot of thing. I have two types of cancer and I been told that there might be a possibility I might have a third cancer running thru my bones.
Q. Will this third cancer enhance your addiction to prescription or OTC drugs?
A. The third cancer will kill me. So when you’re faced with that you feel depressed. I was okay with the right and left breast having cancer. A lot has changed for me. When I get up in the morning its work work. I take the pill before I shower it allows me to wash away my worries and cry. I can’t even move my arms right. I plan on keeping my addiction because it helps me cope. No one would like me if I wasn’t hyped on drugs
Q. In your last statement you said, “Worried about not being liked”, is that why you are using drugs
A. No that’s for sure. I would be ugly to people for no reason, just because I have a lot of stress with cancer and dying on my mind
Q. Do you think taking drugs or dependants is affecting your family?
A. No, because I take it at night so they should be sleep. I have no little kids and I have no one dependant on me for care at home. All my kids are grown and not living with me.
Q. Do they have a clue as to what you are taking?
A. Yes my daughter picks up my prescriptions when I order refills
Q.Your taking these OTC and prescriptions do you think you can die from an overdose?
A. you can die from an overdose on anything even OTC’s. Im very aware of what I’m taking and how to take them. (CNA) That wouldn’t be overdose that would be suicide
Q. Are you suicidal?
A. No but I would if I lost all my motor skills
Q.When you start chemo and couldn’t take the pain would you kill your self then?
A. No, it’s a once a month thing. The scary thing is radiation
Q. Would you kill your self after radiation?
A. No….. If the time comes I would like a DNR (do not resiate) because of bills and stress on my body (laughs)
Q. Is this funny?
A. no it’s not far from being funny. In my situation its okay to laugh
Q. Cancer is stressful for your mind, body, and spirit. If your doctor gave you good news would you stop using drugs or these dependants?
A. Well no because one doesn’t have to do with the other. If I went back to work I would still have trouble sleeping.
Q. Is your sleeping pattern caused by you not doing anything social?
A. there is nothing out in society that interests me. I like to travel when I have money. But I’m not working bills still need to be paid. Things around the house are dependant on me to pay them. So all I really have is I to pay them.
Q. I understand that but what about a hobby, children, and grandchildren to keep you company?
A. Nerves to bad for that don’t really like a lot of noise. I read books occasionally.
Q. If money wasn’t an issue would you still be hooked on sleep aides?
A. yes, rich or poor I would find away to get Tylenol pm. Well maybe maybe not. When you’re rich you make your own schedule
Q. Are you just not happy?
A. Well at this time in my life no. I’m not happy who would be when they are faced with cancer. I don’t have bone cancer that would be a blessing. I can deal with breast cancer.
Q. Has cancer ruined your sec life?
A. Yes because I don’t have the need for sex. I do have a date book that I can always use if the urge ever comes up. Yeah I have men that wouldn’t mind giving me help in that department
Q. Do you think your faith in God has changed?
A. No drugs or illness will ever take away my faith in him. (God) But I do ask myself why me why now…. Earlier you said dreams. Now I’m thinking and wishing instead of dreaming to get better. Should be better.
Q. What are your Hopes now that life has dealt you this hand?
A. Don’t have many now I just hope to get better. After being sawed and butchered on I try to look on the bright side. I can have breast replacement even though I don’t want to have anymore surgery. No hair no breasts I would look like a tranny. I don’t want to get confused with being gay. Because there’re gay bashers can be really mean.


The interview ended right there because the sleep aids that takes were starting to take there effect on her. From this interview we see that not all people dream as some of these researchers once thought. When dealt with life altering problems we as human turn to drugs or prescriptions as a way of coping with the pain or trying to escape the fears we have of dying. is not just some random women that I happen to stumble upon she is my mother. This was really one other the toughest assignments I had at C.O.M. because it made me face what I didn’t want to face. It makes me realize what I don’t really want to see or hear especially coming from my mother.