Monday, July 18, 2011

Danielle'sRoom

*plays marvins room instrumental*
Havent fucked in 9 months
school and overworked
this blog is a mistake
Fatigued with no sleep
i know you got a BM
This is so pathetic
still havent told you everything

I cant even finish this bc its so much that I wanna put in this blog that I cant...I had him in my room last night and his BM wasnt even a topic...Why am I settling for the less when I know I can get better if I tried. He is right here in my face thats why and safe I dont have to try hard its easy. I hate easy thats why I want away from this...I want hard complicated and fun. We cant have fun bc he has to figure out how to support him her and their new bundle of joy.....I was gonna try and date this guy from the Internet but i noticed to many things he's NOT and thats the problem lol he is right here in Houston all i gotta do is use the number he gave me but *kanye shrug* i just dont want to yet. I feel as though I need a career or something to bring to the table than my winning charm. Se how i get off subject we were in my room now were in my head.

*sips cups of the rosay*

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I gotta FIND PEACE OF MIND

*Tears streaming from my eye* I need to let it go. I hurt so much sometimes I thought I got over it and I moved on but it catches back up to me when I feel low. Most people think they kn0w more than what they know when they read my comments read my blog *taps you on the shoulder* Hey buddy your wrong. Its hard sometimes to think where I was and how far I have come to getting my life back after almost taking it. I have strong demons inside that want to take over but I don't let it. I thank my nephew for saving me he was the one thing I knew I wanted to be great for if not for myself. I want him to say one day "you know what my aunt coco is so fucking awesome" lol well maybe not the word fucking..I know that he is holding me and letting me know not to give up on him and I wanna say to him I'm not anymore. I want my life back and I will get it one day at a time.

What gets me the most as that the one that I trusted uses this against me and keeps me prisoner in his life I have so much hate for him it hurts me deeply..I shouldn't hate him like I do and like him its a love hate situation like a drug user they hate it but loves the way it makes them feel..I know that he will bring me down mentally if I don't break free soon...I wanna break free its just hard. He listen he gets me STOP TAKING UP FOR HIM *my mind screams at me* I try TRY HARDER he doesn't play fair *FIGHT HIM* lol I laugh at this because they way he plays he wins and i hate to lose I try to win at everything but I lose to him my mind body soul spirit everything I lose to him....*tears stream down my face*


I gotta find a peace of MIND