im tryin 2 retire the NIKES

while tweeting yesterday i realized something about me that i want to share. I don't know if you guys remember me saying that mom mother has cancer. Well when i was talking to her the other day she basically said, " i don't think your strong enough to be on your own". when she said this i just laughed it off as if she didn't know what she was talking about. Also i really started paying more attention in my psychology class and my behavior is really unusual. (nu10) CRAZY LOL.... I mean i realized before hand that i wasn't strong but being hit with it and dealing with it was sum10 i really wasn't and I'm not trying to deal with. I don't know why I'm not strong i don't know why I put out walls that i know others wont scale even with a rope or ladder. letting someone see me doesnt appeal to me very. Dwight Howard wanted to know if you had a super power what would you have. My first thought was Flash because i would be able to run when i wanted to escape. But then i changed it bc i didnt want people to know that i was runnning. I always have a plan for a plan is that weird. If im going somewhere i plan all the escape routes. come up with clever excuses on how to dip out. lol i know what im running from but i wish not to share but maybe its time to stop from running from the problems and come up with solutions. such as conditioning myself to be stronger i always said if sum10 happen to my mother i would lose it. But i dont wanna lose it i wanna win. survive this dent in my road life gave me. They say god doesnt put you through sum10 you cant handle but i use to think that wasnt true by my actiions.... but im starting to trust my heart more and the real me wants to be seen and the shoes will hang out on the line.....