Sunday, July 10, 2011

I gotta FIND PEACE OF MIND

*Tears streaming from my eye* I need to let it go. I hurt so much sometimes I thought I got over it and I moved on but it catches back up to me when I feel low. Most people think they kn0w more than what they know when they read my comments read my blog *taps you on the shoulder* Hey buddy your wrong. Its hard sometimes to think where I was and how far I have come to getting my life back after almost taking it. I have strong demons inside that want to take over but I don't let it. I thank my nephew for saving me he was the one thing I knew I wanted to be great for if not for myself. I want him to say one day "you know what my aunt coco is so fucking awesome" lol well maybe not the word fucking..I know that he is holding me and letting me know not to give up on him and I wanna say to him I'm not anymore. I want my life back and I will get it one day at a time.

What gets me the most as that the one that I trusted uses this against me and keeps me prisoner in his life I have so much hate for him it hurts me deeply..I shouldn't hate him like I do and like him its a love hate situation like a drug user they hate it but loves the way it makes them feel..I know that he will bring me down mentally if I don't break free soon...I wanna break free its just hard. He listen he gets me STOP TAKING UP FOR HIM *my mind screams at me* I try TRY HARDER he doesn't play fair *FIGHT HIM* lol I laugh at this because they way he plays he wins and i hate to lose I try to win at everything but I lose to him my mind body soul spirit everything I lose to him....*tears stream down my face*


I gotta find a peace of MIND

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