The Past

I believe that sometimes its okay to look back in the past to see whats changed and how things could have been different. I also believe that some things in the past should stay in the past. This come on the surprise reapperance of a guy I knew back in the day. He was important to me then because i actually thought he gave a damn about me. I was totally wrong when everything came to light with him. I wish I didnt have feelings for him back then and i wish i didnt have them now. He hurted me more than anything and he didnt and stills doesnt give a damn even after i say something to him about it. Im tripping im being sensititve. But its funny everytime he asked to hold his hand through something he was going through i did believing that he could she that i actually cared that he felt better and was going to make it through his situations. Boy was i wrong the next vagina he hoped right on leaving me behind as a distant memory. I dont think i could ever love him anymore or have feelings im all cried out and im done. I cant be what he wants me to be. I cant be here for him all the time while he sits there and treats me like im not shit. Well maybe im not shit but he doesnt have to add more shit to the toilet. I just hope one day he realized what he missed out on. I really tried to be there for him but selfish people like that dont deserve what im capable of bringing to their life. Whats crazy is i would have given him everything if thats was to make him happy....... Im must have been dumb but i guess the heart tells you what to do and whats crazy about that as well is that i know i will still answer his calls text whatever....maybe its the whole thing about being needed..Different blog im sure who knows...and whats also crazy he might be the one to ruin me for all others guys and by the end of this blog i think he already did.